Losing Weight, Gaining Strength

My journey to a healthier me via exercising, and eating less.

Here I am

I’m five days in to my second go at making a permanent change in my eating habits and physical activity. I have every intention of reaching my goals and maintaining them by adjusting my lifestyle for good.

I would like to open up to this process in honor of my imperfections. Without spending too much time dwelling on went wrong the first time around I believe I may have a grasp on why I failed to follow through. My strive to perfect the “science” of losing weight and getting fit seems to have been my downfall. For several months I limited myself and denied myself of all types of food. I did not make exercise a priority, nor did I make it fun. Beyond that, I let the stresses of life and my struggle with depression creep in and destroy my state of mind. I also tried to fit my journey into the box of other peoples journeys. I compared, and envied, and felt inadequate trying to measure up to other peoples fitness aspirations. Ultimately I decided I wasn’t strong enough and I let my old habits return and my efforts go to waste.

Moving forward I embracing the fact that this is MY journey. It’s not going to look the same as anyone else’s. My main goal is to enjoy life and feel good and be healthy while doing it. Yes, I’m watching my calories but I am not adhering to any strict nutritional rules. I’m listening to my body. I’m exercising in ways that I enjoy. Sometimes that includes a workout video, or some strength training, or most often a hike or walk with my boys. I’m making it a priority to be active daily but I’m working hard at not making it feel like a chore.

Some days I’m going to celebrate. I’m going to have that glass or two (or three) of wine, or I’m going to eat that slice of cake. But I’m not going to feel bad about it because it’s life.
And life is good. And sometimes cake feels good. (I don’t even like cake but you catch my drift.)

My goals may take months or years, but my life and love and happiness is now. That’s what I’m choosing. However that looks or evolves overtime is my choice as long as it fuels my body and mind in a healthy way.

Wake Up and Smell the…..Oatmeal!

At first, I didn’t want to weigh in until I had a few weeks of healthy living under my belt again. But, I think part of my re-awakening and continual healing in this process is knowing the truth and being honest with myself. And the honest truth is, I probably wouldn’t be surprised at the number I see on that scale. I know what I’ve done the past 2 months, I know how my lifestyle has affected my body. So, weighing in is good! It will be my jumping off point and it will inspire my determination. 

I bet you’re waiting for the results huh? Well, ladies and gentlemen, after 2 months of careless eating and low-activity I have gained 7.7 pounds. 

Does that totally suck!? Yeah, like…a lot. Is it the end of my world? No. Its a reminder of how EASY it is to go back and how much harder I’m going to work to avoid that, for the rest of my life! Life is hard, its time to wake up and realize that. Staying fit and healthy is hard. 

But you know what? I’m smiling right now, because I know the secrets. I know how to fix this. I’m going to go eat my oatmeal for breakfast, drink my green tea, attend a Pilates class, and LIVE

Confessions of a Lost Mama

I’m here to admit I got terribly lost. I lost my passion, my motivation, my excitement to continue on the journey.

I’m sure you have heard the term “to live in the moment.” Its a great concept and sound reminder to appreciate and treasure the life, family, and blessings you have right NOW. But, for me, it knocked me off the tracks. I stopped envisioning my goal and I started to really think one day at time. I began to let old habits fall in to place while ignoring the future consequences.

I let the daily stresses take over me. I had lots ( lots and lots ) of late night snacks. I stopped taking advantage of the daily opportunities to be active.

I used to look at those people in the media who lost a ton of weight only to gain it back a short time later and think, how could they do that! How could they get so far only to let themselves go again! I know the answer to that now, I can clearly see how it happens.

I went to bed last night thinking “what has become of me?” When did my flame burn out? When people say I inspired them I feel ashamed at the lack of progress I have made. I have been waking up most mornings hating what I’ve done the day before. I feel angry and disappointed in myself.

I’m here to release that negativity and turn it in to determination. I’m here to remember how far I HAVE come. How much I was able to accomplish. To bring my future and my goals to the forefront of my mind again and let them motivate my daily actions.

I refuse to fall back into a self-pitied, depressed, and un-happy person. I REFUSE.

The difference between the me now and the me that began this journey then, is I KNOW I am capable. How powerful, huh? I don’t need to wonder if I can do this, I know for a fact that I can. And I WILL.

I hope you haven’t given up on me…because I will never give up on myself!

A Little Competition is All I needed

My husband decided to sign up for a half-marathon taking place in September. He’s been mildly following my eating habits and has lost a little weight himself (25 lbs). He doesn’t have as much as I do to lose, but I’m so glad he has made decisions to live a healthier lifestyle. He hasn’t always been interested in exercising often so I was surprised and excited when he told me about the race. 

As I was trying to dig myself out of my slump I watched as he started his own journey, training for this half-marathon. He mapped out a 3 mile route to start out on and by his second run he had already improved on his time. 

Something inside me clicked. I’m naturally quite competitive, and seeing him take on this challenge made me want to join in on the fun. I won’t be running a half-marathon, I’m not there mentally, and I just don’t feel pulled in that direction at this point, maybe later! But, I do need to kick up my cardio to help shed the rest of this weight. And, wouldn’t it be fun to beat my husbands 5k time? Yes, yes it would! 

So, as of now I’ve done the 3 mile route twice. And its definitely a love/hate thing. I’m basically fighting with myself the whole time. Yet, when I’m done the rush is incredible, and I feel quite accomplished. I’m starting out slow, and I’m trailing behind my husband by 10 minutes or so. There’s a huge chance I may never beat him, but I’m glad I had the gall to try, because now I’ve discovered I CAN run.

In the recent past I have tried running by using the couch to 5k program and became easily bored, and to my surprise, it was because I could already run a 5k, albeit slow. 

I’m running a 12 minute mile give or take a few seconds right now. So, my first goal will be to get that to a 10 minute mile. Then, I’ll think about increasing distance. 

Rough Patch

I’ve had a couple of off weeks. Life has been busy and I was sick, and my kids were sick. Its really hard to stay focused and on top of things when my mind is in so many different places. I began to fall into some old habits and I’ve definitely been more lax with what I put in my mouth and how much.

I had a .6 lb gain last week, and even though that isn’t much, it was hard to see. I’m facing forward now, though, and I’m ready to step it up a notch!

I woke up this morning ready to take on the last half of this journey. I started with a great workout and a delicious and nutritious breakfast.

I’m feeling great today, and confident that I CAN do this.

Shut Your Pie-Hole!?

If you’re reading my blog, then you want to know about my weight-loss journey. You’re interested.

Does the same go for my family, friends, or acquaintances that hear my endless jabbering about this part of my life? Am I bugging people? Am I making other people that are struggling with weight feel bad or resentful by being so vocal about my accomplishments? 

These questions have been popping up for me a lot lately. I wonder what people really think, when most of my conversations lately lead back to my weight-loss. There are only a few people in my life that would probably feel comfortable telling me they’ve heard enough. 

Its hard, when you are passionate about something to not talk about it all the time. I don’t want others to think that me talking about it is some kind of judgement on their lifestyle or their choices. I’m just excited. I’m stoked that I’ve been able to do this. 

I’ll be honest, I have a lack of focus. I usually don’t FINISH things. Some might label me A.D.D. Its hard for me to have follow-through. So, for me to get this far, and still be very motivated, is quite miraculous in my eyes. 

I’m not trying to boast, or lack humility. I’m just really, really happy–I’m thrilled! 

So, I apologize to those that are tired of hearing me ramble about losing weight, counting calories, and exercising. Please, please don’t be afraid to tell me to zip it!🙂

Reflection

“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility.” 

Up until 5 months ago I was lying to myself. I told myself I was eating “healthy.” I told others I was “trying” to lose weight. I preached. I pretended. Why wasn’t I losing weight?

I wasn’t being honest. I was hiding from the facts. The fact is that I ate too much. I binged. I ate when I wasn’t hungry. I ate when I was bored. I ate when life was hard. I ate when life was great!

My successful progress has ultimately been based on my accountability, to myself.  When everyone is in bed, and I’m alone, I know that if I eat, even if no one is looking, it will result in weight gain.

That’s my secret. That’s my “miracle” cure. Honesty.

Over the years, nothing else worked because I wasn’t following through. I never lasted more than two weeks. I didn’t have the motivation, and I didn’t have the drive. And I lied to myself about it.

Now, in reflection, I can’t say yet what really changed me. Maybe my 30th birthday in the near future. Or my realization, now, with two children that I need to be here for my family. Being fed up with my depression and anxiety.

I just got to THAT point. Where change was necessary.

And here I am now.

Before/After

I’ve had some inquiries about a before and after picture. I have yet to take a recent full body, bit when I do I’ll post. In the meantime, here’s a head shot!

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Fast Lane

My progress this week was on the fast track with a total loss of 4 pounds! It was so exciting to see 165! I literally feel SO LIGHT! Not only do I feel light, but I feel healthy, and energized, and happy.

As of today I have lost 42 pounds. And, I’m proud to say these pounds were lost without any fad diets, or crazy exercise regimens. Just a lot of healthy changes that are leading me to a wonderful place in my mind and body! I’m excited about whats still ahead!

***

I’ve been making breakfast a priority lately. I just haven’t been hungry in the mornings and there are other things distracting me from eating (my 10.5 month old.) But, I’m making time for it, and my motto is ‘better late then never!’

My go to’s recently have been:

  • homemade green shake (yogurt, almond milk, spinach, berries, and honey) and toast -I use Alvarado St. Bakery Essential Flax Seed Bread – at 50 calories a slice and zero flour its my #1 bread!
  • plain FAGE greek yogurt with berries and molasses
  • scrambled eggs (1 whole egg and 2 whites), spinach, and toast, oh and hot sauce!

These meals fill my tummy and satisfy my taste buds. So, what is your go to meal in the morning?

Inches Lost

In October I took some measurements to see how I progress. Today I re-measured, and I’m happy with the results!

Here are my measurements compared:

Waist – October: 42.5 inches, Today: 39 inches *3.5 inches lost*

Hips – October: 48 inches, Today: 43.5 inches *4.5 inches lost*

Thighs – October: 25 inches, Today: 23.5 inches *1.5 iches lost*

Upperarms – October: 16 iches, Today: 14 inches *2 inches lost*

I’ve also dropped from a pant size of 18 to a 14. And a top size from XXL to Large.

I’m melting!

With my Wednesday weigh in I lost one pound bringing me to 169. Goodbye 170s!

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